october 2003

28 october 2003
awesome, new letters from japan courtesy of michelle. read about the latest mystery of japan: Obaachans.

stellargirl has a very unexplainably sore back. all masseuses welcome.

26 october 2003
thanks to everyone who made an appearance at my birthday party on friday night. i had an awesome time. i wish i had pictures but it was so dark, and the few shots i flashed off were met with some dirty looks from people who i had blinded. this was the weekend of birthdays, i attended 2 other birthday parties and several of my friends had birthdays this weekend. yes, this is why october is my favorite month!

one of my birthday gifts was a performance at BAM -- The New Yorkers -- part of the annual Next Wave festival. it was an excellent show... there were many different parts: films, music and visual effects. it was inspiring. reminded me again, why am i not experimenting with moving images? always good to feel inspired...

22 october 2003

elliott smith has died. i found out first thing this morning when an old friend emailed to tell me:
Just thought I'd tell you...Since you first introduced me to him... Elliot Smith is dead at 34... the news developed throughout the first hours of the day, first unexplained death, then suicide... then the truth, death caused by a single self-inflicted stab wound through the heart.

i was first introduced to elliott smith by a friend who worked at the health food store i worked at in college. his buzz had made its way down to philadelphia courtesy of the movie Good Will Hunting. a couple of my friends had some of his cds and we'd listen to them from time to time. then a friend made me a mix tape and he knew i always loved listening to elliott smith at his house, so he filled one whole side with XO. that tape got played a lot, and many of the songs made their way onto future mix tapes. my collection grew to involve several more of his albums, each bearing songs that i put onto other mixes made for friends here and there.

my close friends were all really big fans and we always found reasons to listen to his music. whether it was to hang out, eat dinner, lounge around, just listen to good music... his songs inevitably made their way into our ears. i even remember elliott singing to me when i first set foot in san francisco, for my very first visit, reminding me of familiar times at home.

out of all of my cds, elliot's were probably played the most. they never got old, they never got boring, they were always welcome, and always brought back good memories. even though many of his songs were sad, they still reminded me of good times with good people. just this summer, that same friend who made me that first mix tape, borrowed several of elliott's cds to burn copies. he's in spain now, probably nowhere near a computer, and i am going to have to tell him that he's dead now.

one thing is certain, elliott smith will never be forgotten, not by me or by my close friends. his music will touch people forever. and chances are, if he ever slips away, someone will discover him again and he will live on.

he died too young. he had too much to give. i find it very sad to think that he couldn't make something right inside of himself and he had to leave this world too early.

21 october 2003
why do i torture myself with constant painting? once the paint dries, seems i am off to paint another room or paint another color over top. one of these days, i am going to design a lighting scheme that will allow me to change the color with the flip of a switch. in related news, i have the nicest super in the world. he's a very sweet man with a really great dog who is always at his side.

i thought of about a million things to write, but now i can't think of anything. must be the paint fumes. i guess i am just not feeling so talkative lately.

14 october 2003
i am not sure if i should be admitting this, but i really want the red sox to beat the yankees. i am not typically a sports fan, but this nearly century old rivalry is just so fascinating. go underdog! they are tied at the moment, so it's still anyone's game.

have i mentioned that i am hooked on the New York Post? it's the best way for me to keep up with the stories associated with the series (i will not devote myself to sportscasting!). i love the way the articles are written, they have a great voice. sure, maybe it's not a voice i can always relate to, but it's got this old tough guy sort of quality to it. it's entertaining. then of course, you have Page Six, Cindy Adams and Liz Smith and it's just gossip gossip gossip. and these ladies are really funny. go buy a copy of the Post today, it's only a quarter!

based on some heavy recommendations, i picked up the damien rice cd yesterday. i've only given it one spin so far, but i was really into it. i love that he recorded most of it at home, on his own terms. seems to be a good way to do things.

08 october 2003
when i was a kid, i was afraid of cameras. my mom took a photography class when i was about 5 years old. there is a picture, documented proof, of me and my brother and sister and probably a few neighborhood kids, and there i am, bawling my eyes out in sheer terror. my sister told me that i was afraid that the camera was going to shoot a lightning bolt out and hurt me, based on a bugs bunny episode i had seen. you know how it is when you are a kid, you will believe anything. a few years later, something similar happened. our family was getting portraits done at the local department store and i refused to be a part of them. i kicked and screamed and cried and yelled. it took the photographer several attempts to pull down a few faux background panels (library, forest scene, etc) for me to get my mind off the whole ordeal of it all. the pictures turned out ok, and i looked cute as a button (but of course) but you can tell my family is a little stressed out by my tirade.

isn't it strange that now, i love the camera. in fact, i live the camera. my life is documented by the camera. it's the greatest thing i have ever discovered. i found my place on the other side of the lens, to watch and observe, to tell a story with images. and of course, to carry on like a wild banshee kicking and screaming from time to time.

07 october 2003
ironic
1. Characterized by or constituting irony.
2. Given to the use of irony.
3. Poignantly contrary to what was expected or intended: madness, an ironic fate for such a clear thinker.

ok this definition totally sucks because all it talks about is irony, and if you don't quite get irony, then how will you get what it means to be ironic?

when i think of ironic, i can't help but think of my generation. hanging on to things previously uncool and making them cool because it's ironic. listening to a certain kind of music or styling one's hair a certain way because it's ironic. things around me seem so ironic sometimes that i can't even see what is real.

when i have these thoughts, i get lucky -- i get immediate proof supporting my theories. and tonight, it was seeing some jackass wearing a trucker hat that said, you guessed it... IRONIC.

happy birthday wishes all the way across the pacific to michelle.

05 october 2003
first friday is one of the most fun nights in philadelphia. on the first friday of every month, all of the galleries have all of their new openings. what this really means is that people from all over the place crawl out from the woodwork to see what there is to be seen, or more importantly, see WHO there is to be seen. in one night, i caught up with an old friend from rome, a former classmate who i always admired, a friend who i thought disappeared and a girl who i had been reading about -- and these were just the people i didn't expect to see! i spent most of the night at Vox Populi checking out the new show from erin weckerle... who is a really awesome and talented girl. check out the photos.

sunday night, good weekend past, exciting week ahead. people coming and going, new friends and old. pad thai.

cheers.

02 october 2003
ok, you may have heard me mention that i love fall. yes, it's true. but have i mentioned that it's OCTOBER that i really love. wow. love this month. love the blue skies and the brisk air and that feeling like stuff is really happening everywhere all over the place. tonight i wore a scarf. this is a thrilling time.

i was thinking (who me?) on the subway this evening about how things have felt recently, like i have been floating around grabbing onto various life preservers and rafts, metaphorically speaking of course... and how now.. the way things in my life are changing and especially how the season is changing, i feel like i am building a boat, my very own boat that's going to be around for a while.

i saw Under the Tuscan Sun last night, which i have really been wanting to see, because i love italy and also probably because i've been bombarded with advertisements and promotions for it. i'm a sucker for a movie about tuscany, because i've been there. certainly not as long as anyone should be, but long enough to remember that feeling of beauty and visual overload. there's one underlying theme in the movie that i really liked. a man tells a story about how a railway was built between venice and vienna in the alps, before there was even a train that was capable of making the trip. they built it because they knew it would be possible one day. maybe it's a hopelessly schlocky thought from a completely oprah-esque sort of movie, but i took that thought and kept it for myself. why not lay some tracks?

today i am thankful for old friends who appear quite randomly bearing gifts of words out of the blue october sky...