december 2001 12.30.01 this is my friend christine, of london diary fame. she totally rules and is on her way to australia as we speak, i think. maybe in the next week. have fun christine! we can't wait to read all about it! 12.29.01 i just finished watching billy elliot with my mom. i really love that movie. it was only the second time i saw it, but i swear, this time i was moved to tears. i think that it is a great story... how the family changes and wants better things for billy. of course, i love any movie about dance. anyway, you should see it if you haven't already. i had a philly 24 hours beginning last night. joe, chris, and i attempted to go to this bar where dj cozmic cat was supposedly spinning. turns out that it was misinformation, she wasn't there, but the hip-hop was still bangin' from the outside. we couldn't get in, however, because joe was wearing sneakers. SNEAKERS! in philly, we could not get into a place because of his damn $250 collectible sneakers. what snobbery! we threw such a fit and i am certain i flipped someone the bird and screamed in a soprano voice, "i hate philadelphia!" we proceeded to pop into several unreliable haunts until we gave up on that hood and moved north via the impromptu septa bus. joe helped out the driver by shouting out all the street names. we just might have been the only ones amused. our final destination proved to be moderately fun, ran into some old acquaintances and got the phone number of a frenchman. i have to say that i strongly dislike hanging out in philadelphia on the weekends. i have tried to come up with several different excuses for why it sucks, but i know that the real problem is me. i just don't fit in there anymore. i have moved on, it has moved on. chris was getting pretty annoyed with me for having my bad attitude. "LIVE the decision, don't MAKE the decision," he kept saying -- a quote he attributes to our dear friend christine. chris happens to love that city and more power to him. it has an entirely different meaning to him than me. it's not completely hopeless, i like some of the areas surrounding philadelphia, that is where i feel at home. to continue... this morning, joe and i began with a delicious brunch in manayunk after which we visited several of our favorite thrift stores in germantown. i came away with 9 albums, mostly for craft purposes (their covers), 2 happenin' handbags, a new ashtray to replace the one that i broke recently (i don't even technically smoke), and a blue ceramic serving bowl. i would say it was a moderate success. i also managed to attain this beautiful low slung brown grommet belt from joe last night. all this for under $10. we finished our day at borders where we ate bagels over vegetarian cookbooks, lost ourselves in unauthorized madonna biographies and flipped through travel books. it was a fulfilling 24 hours. so with all of these ups and just a few downs, with the companionship of good friends, and the inspiration of both beautiful things and words on paper, i inevitably racked my brain as to what it is that i would like to accomplish -- both in the short and long term, pertaining to both career and life. i decided that rather than have such constant swings from one idea to the next, it might be best for me to draw up a list of all of the possibilities. i constantly vacillate between ideas, to travel or not to travel, to move or to plant roots, to try this or to try that. i was thinking today as i was driving home, that there was once a time where i knew what i had to do. i am not nearly as conflicted as i have been in recent months, because now i do have a "plan" but now i am constantly wondering -- just what am i going to do? well here are some options for the moderately immediate future: in no particular order 1) work on an organic farm in europe or new zealand for the summer 2) go to school for a master's of anthropology in europe 3) remain in new york city for several years 4) leave new york city 5) move to another part of the united states 6) move home for a bit and leave for several months at a time to travel 7) start a business 8) open a small cafe/restaurant 9) move to europe and find work as a cook or whatever 10) buy property/house 11) be self-employed that's all i can think of right now. did i mention that i want to go back to europe? problem, i don't exactly want to fly right now. but i am going to have to get over that. my other dilemma which may be more immediate, and one which will become more clear as i progress in my studies -- what kind of "career" am i heading for, as a result of my new education? again, in no particular order 1) private vegetarian chef 2) organic farm apprentice 3) restauranteur 4) vintner 5) caterer 6) nutritionist 7) food stylist? 8) be self-employed! okay, that wasn't so bad. that information is pretty personal, so thank you for listening. i am sure there are tons of things that i have not listed, but i am trying to narrow my focus just a bit, so that i am prepared to make the next step, as my school program is a limited amount of time. i tend to always be working towards something, and i just want to be ready when the time comes. i challenge you, stellar readers, to make your own lists about your direction, where you are going, where you want to go. if you feel comfortable enough sharing, we can put together a feature on the topic. it helps. i feel better already. until i wake up tomorrow, i'm sure! hehe. check back soon, as i will be writing my year in review. that's another thing that you are welcome to contribute. and of course, new year's resolutions. lots of topics for you all to think about. keep me posted. 12.20.01 excuse me, but is christmas already on tuesday? where does the time go? guess what i did today? i saved a bean/squash stew with too much ginger by giving it a little lemon. try it sometime. i think that i might want to go work on on organic farm this summer. i figure that i have some useful skills to offer, plus the ability to cook food from the garden. if anyone has any experiences like this, please share. i have been totally inspired this week. i have really been feeling that whole education is great thing. it makes me want to shout from the rooftops: NEVER STOP LEARNING. i really mean it, i am already planning on getting my phD one day. why not. i want to learn and share and keep learning and that seems like a great way to do it. i have a habit of getting ahead of myself, always wondering what my next plan is, before my current plan is even anywhere near being finished. i think i am making up for the few months that i was aimless and unemployed, and the last 2 years of my career where i was totally conflicted and unfulfilled about what i was doing. but i am here now as a result of all of that, and it ain't so bad! if i don't stop in again, merry christmas! 12.16.01 i kinda like it when i take a few days off from the site and some people write and ask if have given up on it. i am still here, i swear! i have just been soo busy with new educational pursuits and some big time merger business at work. i had saturday to chill, which was nice, even though i totally forgot to go to the getcrafty party. i suck! i did get a chance to go to pearl river in soho, but the line was pretty much wrapped around the store. pearl river is this great chinese market where they have beautiful pottery and lots of kitchen stuff. i really want to get this thing called a "spider" which is basically a small, sort of flat wire basket attached to a handle. it's really great for getting foods out of liquids or oil. i also wanted to get a wok. my first wok! we made veggie tempura in school the other day and it was just so good. lots of other neat stuff came out of the wok last week as well. has anyone happened to notice that christmas is almost here? i can't even tell. i did order a bunch of stuff on amazon today and i paid way too much for shipping because i procrastinated and i need to have it delivered before christmas. i really love buying people books for holidays, because there are just so many great books out there and there is a book for everyone. i have been reading a book called Food and Healing, written by Annemarie Colbin, who is the founder of my school. i read it while crammed on the rush hour 1/2 train. it's such a great book, she really gives a nice background to the benefits of whole foods. she gives even more information about the negative aspects of certain diets and methods of "nutrition." it's amazing what people decide is good for you, when they don't even look at things from a whole perspective. you really have to break it down to the way things occur in nature. her philosophy is loosely based on macrobiotics, which if you are at all familiar with, is such an incredibly interesting way of eating and healing. in an ideal world, i would eat much better food, but it can get really expensive and is certainly time consuming. i am really excited to learn more about food preparation, flavors, and healing properties of food. i can already sense a difference in myself just from the 2 weeks since i have been in school. i have a long way to go, but it feels really fulfilling. i have been interested in whole foods for a long time now, and here i am, completing immersing myself in learning more about them. and what a concept, whole foods. it's amazing just how processed our foods are. i remember studying in rome and the food there was so incredibly good. the ingredients were simple, intense, and delicious. why would you even tamper with that? 12.16.01 ok, these are the confessions of a former mass litter bug... Sometimes, I swear long ago when I was young stupid and impressionable, I'd be driving down the road, in my car with no cup holder, and that coffee which was cold and gross was hard to hold while steering and trying to tune in radio stations on the manual dial.  So, instead of trying to balance it and spilling all over myself, I'd just throw it out the window...  That and pretty much any other things that annoyed me in the car.  Why?  Well I kinda figured it'll biodegrade...right?  Plus what's the difference between throwing it out the window and sending it to be thrown into a giant whole in the ground (landfill)?  Not a whole lot I figure, except for that in a landfill they use chemicals to keep the trash from ever biodegrading so they can build parks and playgrounds on top when they are full without fear of the slides, and the kids on them, sinking into the earth.  Of course those chemicals, combined with the high concentration of trash, poison the ground water giving cancer and other nasties to persons in the surrounding communities.  Since rich people never want to live near landfills, it is usually the lower middle class and poor folk who get screwed by this phenomenon.  By littering, trash is spread across the landscape imposing risk evenly over all populations, rich and poor.  And, by not burying it with chemicals, and keeping the concentration of trash fairly low, the stuff will biodegrade, and water supplies are less likely to be polluted.      That's good logic...right?   -- Ashamed 12.12.01 this photo was taken when i visited coney island a few weeks ago. it was the only picture that i took. with my camera anyway. i believe i shot off a few frames on a friend's camera. it looks rather nice in print. it's not really my style, though. i mean, where are the people? it was sort of an exercise in composition. and one was enough! why do people litter? i was on the subway last night and this guy was eating some burger king crap, and he proceeded to throw all of his trash under the seat. i really couldn't believe it. the car wasn't messy, there wasn't trash everywhere, just under his seat. i though it was so incredibly rude and selfish for him to do that. i hate litterbugs!! in the same car, there was another guy right across from me eating buffalo wings and licking the ranch dressing out of the container with his fingers. he was making all these grody slurping noises as he licked his fingers. but when he got off the train, he took his trash with him and threw it out -- because, well, that's just what you are supposed to do. it's a courteous thing! so -- post-litter-hating rant, i am reminded that my weekend guest brought up some good suggestions for a new question. he wanted to know, stellar readers, what is your best christmas memory? personally, i am going to have to think about that one for a bit, but i can remember my worst christmas memory. christmas 1995, the very last year i consumed meat. i got the most awful stomach virus on christmas eve. i was barfin' all night long. that was not a merry christmas! my favorite christmases might be the ones where i was very young, when my brother and sister were around, when i still believed in santa claus, when the presents would just appear under the tree and you really had no idea where they came from. when you're young, things like that just amaze you. and you will believe anything! now, i am just glad to be with my family and friends... 12.9.01 another whirlwind weekend comes to an end. after an inspiring weekend shooting photos of chris, i was more than ready to finally share with you some portraits i shot in the spring of 1999 for a photo project entitled my vanity camera. check them out in the (black and white) photo section here. while i have been very sad to report that BUST magazine is no more, i am actually very happy to have found readymade! i bought the first issue today. i had heard about it before on getcrafty, and i think i even signed up to receive their intro mini-issue. but i moved, and i think it got lost in the mail. in any case, to my crafty friends who i have in real life, run out and buy this mag, it's really cool and fun! it makes you just want to finally get to some of those projects that you have been dreaming of or pushing aside. i have been wanting to make a quilt recently and i have also wanted to make some pillow covers from felted sweaters, but now i am really inspired to make a quilt out of felted sweaters... buy a copy of readymade to see this done. by the way, mine would be much more colorful than their version. so, to keep you in the loop, cooking school started last week and so far it is totally awesome. i love it so much. there are so many nice people in my class and involved with the school -- i am really looking forward to the next several months. this is the first time in a while that i have been so interested in what i am studying. i miss being in school and this program is so different from anything that i have ever learned before. it is very hands-on as well as academic. i actually read my books! and i ask a ton of questions. attention teachers, if i am asking a lot of questions, it's because i really want to know the answers. that reminds me of my poor renaissance art history professor in rome, i really came up with some bizarre scenarios for him to ponder. he was always up to the challenge, which was great! i was feeling a little bit today like maybe i should be getting my master's degree, but i know if i want to do that, i can still do it later in life. i know that i am really happy with my decision to take out the loan and go to cooking school because it's going to impact my life in so many ways. i have complete faith that i am going to one day tie together many of my interests in way that is innovative and useful. it just takes time. one final note, i had a spectacular time with mr. dreamy dreamerson, chris. we did it up, ny style this weekend. it's a real shame about the photobooth pictures disappearing, but it makes me think fondly of the movie Amelie (another thing that i insist you do is GO SEE THIS MOVIE). perhaps there is some magical boy out there collecting all of the lost images and keeping them together in a book. NEWSFLASH: the cute boy factor in new york city this weekend was unbelievable. chris and i were drooling all over the place. what happened?! delicious. 12.8.01 4:30 am. home safely. i do believe that incognito rock star and i took the most beautiful photo booth pictures one could imagine taking. don't ask me how, but somewhere between the east village and alphabet city, those pictures vanished into thin air. the night has been full of surprises, from getting screamed at as i walked out the door to actually setting foot into the original coyote ugly bar. budweiser or coors light for you, ma'am? turns out incognito rock star's best friend from high school is a bar thumpin' dancer up in there. remind me never to visit that establishment again. one drink there was far too many. 12.7.01 Ahhh. New York is home for so many reasons. Where else will some belligerent drunk on the subway fuck with your hair, while alternately spewing bullshit about the second coming of Jesus Christ and his dinner from ten minutes ago all over his shirt? Roz and I have come together for a weekend of fun and frivolity in this grand city of dreams. Maybe some ice skating in Rockefeller, some flea markets on Sunday, getting lost just walking around and discovering parts of the city we never knew existed before -- to be sure it will be a fantabulous weekend. We'll keep you updated on our scandalous adventures. -- Incognito Rock Star 12.2.01 december at long last, and here it is -- 70 degrees. it's sunday night and i am a little freaked out because i have been hearing all of these strange noises and i realized that they are coming from the walls of my bedroom. these are similar noises to the ones that woke me up this morning. i guess they are doing some renovating next door? earlier today i heard a thumping hammer, but the most recent noises are decidedly drill-related. so maybe they are hanging some art? or perhaps a state of the art video monitoring system much like that found in the movie Sliver. what a terrible movie!! i wish i could say i did something really interesting this weekend, but other than renting chick-flicks, staying out too late at the local bar, and purchasing 2 new houseplants, i don't have too much to add. this is going to be a crazy week because this is the week that i start cooking school! hard to believe after months of debating and deliberating, i am finally going to do it. i am nervous and excited. i'll keep you posted. i'm terribly boring today. more later. april 2004 march 2004 february 2004 january 2004 december 2003 november 2003 october 2003 september 2003 summer 2003 may 2003 april 2003 march 2003 february 2003 january 2003 december 2002 november 2002 october 2002 september 2002 august 2002 summer 2002 april 2002 feb / march 2002 january 2002 december 2001 november 2001 sept / oct 2001 july / aug 2001 june 2001 may 2001 april 2001 march 2001 february 2001 january 2001 december 2000 november 2000 october 2000 september 2000 summer 2000 copyright © 2000-2005 - www.stellargirl.com